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Memory & Desire

by Lauren Mann

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    Comes in an eco friendly gatefold case. Artwork by Rachel Pick.

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1.
There is a sound breaking through the darkest night Wake to the dawn hear it come into the light Sometimes it’s just a whisper Sometimes it’s barely there But if you really listen You’ll hear it in the air Silence is deep, you’ve forgotten how to speak Wake while you sleep, sing the stars into your dreams Sometimes it’s just a whisper Sometimes it’s barely there But if you really listen You’ll hear it in the air Carried through misty valleys Winding through trails unclear Riding on the backs of sorrow Fighting to find you here Hear the whisper growing louder With the wind that carries you Mixing memory and desire Waking up to something new
2.
Forgiveness 03:39
Water under the bridge Evidence of a flood Just because it’s in the past Doesn’t mean there wasn’t damage done Letting go and moving on Rebuilding walls Cracks that turn into scars To keep the water out Forgiveness Going separate ways Forgiveness No words left to say The antique furniture Doesn’t mean a thing When broken hearts and bitterness Means someone’s left crying Forgiveness Going separate ways Forgiveness No words left to say
3.
Dear Forever 03:21
Dear forever, is this the worst it’s been Will you leave the light on for me to come in Dear forever, it’s been some time I see the sun and the moon collide Has this home lost its heart Or can we find that simple spark to fly One more time around the sun Dear forever, are we lost in space Poles apart, never in the right place Dear forever, I know it’s hard I didn’t wait forever to lose you now Has this home lost its heart Or can we find that simple spark to fly One more time around the sun Oh together, let’s find forever once again Oh forever, let’s be together till the end Dear forever, I know it’s hard We lost a little but we found our love
4.
Missing You 03:10
Rocky mountain fortresses have levelled into flatlands And the miles are getting longer driving into the horizon I wonder if you’re thinking ‘bout me out there on the west coast ‘Bout that night we walked through Ambleside And stayed out past our bedtimes You keep surprising me with your gentle talk and poetry I think it’s true, I’m really missing you Fields turn into forests as we head into Ontario The trees are still hesitant to show us all their colours If I’m honest I’m still doubtful about sharing all my secrets But the feelings quickly vanish as you talk down my defenses You keep surprising me with your gentle talk and poetry I think it’s true, I’m really missing you Oh, I think it’s true, I’m really missing you
5.
Waves 04:52
Oh the waves, the waves they come And we face all our fears As we stand on the rock There were no wasted years You came out of nowhere Catching me off guard I was ready for adventure Ready for a fresh start Oh the waves, the waves they come And we fight back the tears All the love that was lost Has brought us here You came out of nowhere Catching me off guard I was ready for adventure Ready for a fresh start Where do we go from here Oh the waves, we ride them all As we move with the tide And we laugh when we fall Frozen in time You came out of nowhere Catching me off guard I was ready for adventure Ready for a fresh start
6.
I was never too great at talking ‘bout my feelings But I feel things deeply all the time I could write it in a song but when I opened up my mouth All that came out was miscommunication Say it out loud like you know it’s the truth Say it out loud even if you’re confused Try to get it out from inside your head Before it’s all just miscommunication It’s taken me some years to find it in myself All the honesty we never had I could keep it all inside but only for so long I’m not strong enough to tame the tide Say it out loud like you know it’s the truth Say it out loud even if you’re confused Try to get it out from inside your head Before it’s all just miscommunication Can’t hide forever From the first heart attack, first heart attack You’ve run out of cover No holding back, no holding back Say it out loud like you know it’s the truth Say it out loud even if you’re confused Try to get it out from inside your head Before it’s all just miscommunication
7.
Don’t make a mountain Out of the dust under your feet You’re only human Any attempt will leave you in defeat Put the kettle on instead Run a bath or have a nap Take a couple deep breaths And don’t worry, darling You’ll go in circles If you keep walking the same path You’ve got the courage To deviate and climb the mountain instead So you made a few mistakes You’re on your way to something great The view alone is worth the weight So don’t worry, darling Sunrise over the mountain There’s a new day coming Breathe in every moment You’re a part of a bigger picture On your way back down Listen to the mountain song Swim under the waterfall Feel your heart beating strong Jump into a rushing stream Know what freedom really means Run and skip among the trees Laugh at the absurdity And don’t, don’t worry, darling
8.
Galaxies 03:40
You can’t just kiss away the pain every time we make mistakes To try and make it all okay, sometimes the hurt needs to stay Someone said clarity creates change, I wish it wasn’t that way Denial is protection that maintains the status quo so I don’t break If it’s my heart you want to take I’ve put up walls to keep me safe I’m not so easily swayed by the smooth words you say Chaos has always reigned, even in the early days I’m growing less and less afraid, I don’t want to stay the same Will our orbit take us one more time around the sun Will I drift away from you instead of holding on We were intertwined I couldn’t tell us apart Now millions of galaxies have come between our hearts Millions of galaxies separate us now
9.
I need space and I need time to see if we’re gonna be fine To see the dawn come out of the night, space and time I need space and I need time to reassure that life is kind To find my way without a fight, space and time I don’t know our love anymore I gave too much and now I’m running out the door I don’t know our love anymore Space and time I need space and I need time to know this mountain can be climbed To come out the other side, space and time I don’t know our love anymore I gave too much and now I’m running out the door I don’t know our love anymore We’re so far from where we started all those years ago And everything is burning down around us What is left within the ashes Oh, everything is burning down around us Are space and time enough to fix the damage I don’t know our love anymore I gave too much and now I’m running out the door I don’t know our love anymore Space and time
10.
Every night the sun bids farewell Sometimes without a word A simple goodbye, no fanfare, no fight Just a slow fading of the light Once in a while it catches my eye Colours so bright, a circus in the sky When I close my eyes, knowing you’re there I’ll sleep through anything Your presence is faithful and true Like the soft twilight hues Every time I’m reminded of why You’re in my life, as certain as the sunrise You are the sun, the moon and the stars Every day a new dawn, lighting up the dark

about

Memory & Desire was born out of uncertainty, and came ​from epiphanies​ of hope between the questions. It is an album for the liminal space, the in-between times of transition, caught between what was and what will be.

As Lauren Mann’s fourth album, and decisively her most honest and vulnerable, Memory & Desire chronicles the years following her last release Dearestly with the ending of a marriage, the rediscovery of self, and the exploration of love, community, and meaning. It is, in a sense, a time capsule, but it is also a universal narrative of the human condition.

credits

released October 16, 2020

Recorded at home on Pender Island, BC in March 2020
Produced and Mixed by Josh Rob Gwilliam
Mastered by Brock McFarlane at CPS Mastering
Photography, Album Design, and Layout by Rachel Pick
Pre-production by Adam Dobres at Dobres Recording Studio

All songs written by Lauren Mann except Dear Forever, written by Lauren Mann and Josh Rob
Gwilliam.

Lauren Mann plays piano, tenor guitar, synth, pump organ, and sings.
Electric Guitar by Steph Jackson
Bass by Josh Rob Gwilliam
Drums by Spencer Cheyne
Additional vocals by Sóley Lapp MacDonald, Jasper Jackson and Steph Jackson

Publicity: jen@fritzmedia.ca
Booking/Management: hello@laurenmannmusic.com

Supported by Creative BC and the Province of British Columbia

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about

Lauren Mann Pender Island, British Columbia

Memory & Desire was born out of uncertainty, and came from epiphanies of hope between the questions. Recorded at Lauren’s home in the Gulf Islands, it is an intimate marker of the passage of time, holding space between who she was and who she will be. With deeper honesty and a renewed effervescence, Lauren Mann is taking herself and her music back to her roots and creating authentic art. ... more

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